AudioPilz’s BAD GEAR Shopping Guide: Synths for Every Wallet and Weirdo

AudioPilz doesn’t waste time—he dives straight into the chaos of the synth market, promising gear picks for every flavour of music nerd. Whether you’re a dentist with a bonus burning a hole in your pocket or a crypto bro who miraculously dodged financial ruin, there’s a synth-shaped hole in your heart and a shopping cart with your name on it. The guide is less about polite recommendations and more about embracing your inner gear goblin, regardless of budget or taste.

The market’s a mess, but that’s half the fun. AudioPilz calls out the absurdity of buying by price—just sort high to low and click away, apparently. From the Groove Synthesis 3rd Wave to the sci-fi Waldorf Quantum, he’s got the big spenders covered. For the rest of us, it’s a reminder that the synth world is gloriously fragmented—there’s a weird, wonderful box for every wallet and every level of questionable life choice.

Navigating the music tech market isn’t for the faint-hearted. AudioPilz lays out survival tactics to keep your dopamine in check and your credit card (mostly) intact. The first rule: don’t let the hype or the endless options fry your brain. Instead, he suggests embracing the chaos, but with a plan—think headphones and a used groovebox before you start dreaming of modular walls.

It’s all about pacing yourself. Don’t blow your entire budget on shiny vintage stuff or the latest meme synth. Start small, learn your box inside out, and only then consider expanding. The advice is sharp, practical, and laced with enough sarcasm to keep you honest. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up with more gear than sense and a studio that’s more IKEA graveyard than creative haven.

AudioPilz has a field day skewering the many tribes of synth enthusiasts. There’s the broke noob, grinding away in the dark with a second-hand groovebox and dreams of glory. Then there’s the gentrifier, whose gear shopping is as much about Instagram stories as it is about making music—think Berlin trips and performative self-loathing.

Collectors get roasted for their eternal hunt for rare 80s oddities, while composers are painted as caffeine-fuelled hermits hoarding obscure sound generators and tax-deductible kalimbas. The real musicians? They’re too busy gigging and buying cars to care about the latest synth drop. It’s all delivered with AudioPilz’s trademark blend of meme humour and uncomfortable accuracy—if you don’t see yourself in here, you’re probably lying.

The recommendations come thick and fast, and they’re anything but generic. For the broke noob, it’s all about the Elektron Model:Samples or the OG Novation Circuit—affordable, sample-friendly, and not likely to melt your brain. If you’re levelling up, AudioPilz points to the Roland S-1, or if you’re feeling especially masochistic, maybe a battered Volca FM.

Collectors are nudged toward rare beasts like the Kawai SX240 or the Technics WSA1, while average synth enjoyers get a shout for the Dreadbox Typhon, Novation Bass Station 2, Arturia Minifreak, and Korg Minilogue. Each pick is matched to a persona, with enough editorial spice to make you question your own choices. Don’t expect a dry spec sheet—this is about finding the box that matches your madness.